Living in the Light

I Love You Because | April 8, 2011

Recently, I’ve been asking the Lord for a kingdom perspective in life. So many times, I pray His will be done, and many more I pray for mine to be. Yet, in the midst of His Kingdom, what is important? I have been asking the Lord that it be close to my heart, and it has given me such a deep imprint of the Gospel in everyday life.

Today, I picked my sister up from the airport. I was nervous at what was to come. My recent interactions with my family has brought me to a desperation of how messed up and far away “things should be.” Yet, today, I was surprised. She expressed genuine humility that I hadn’t seen of her in years. For the first time in my life, I saw tears of joy in her eyes as she described a relationship in her life that was good.  It wasn’t the Lord, but it was totally of the Lord. Come to think of it, I had never been witness to any emotion besides anger and anxiety from anyone in my family, to the point where those two emotions were the only justified genuine emotions we were allowed to feel. To see her tears of joy was like a premonition that the Lord is breaking down the hard walls.

I thought redemption for my family would come like a torrent that would shake them all awake. But I’m seeing it as a soft wind, in small moments like seeing those tears of joy. It is not over, we are not safe. My heart has broken many times over my family, and will most likely break many more times.

But I know one day, they will be so overwhelmed by the message of the Gospel that no reputation or stability or performance or idols of love or perfection can keep them from the Love of Christ.

“O Lord, my heart is not lifted up;
my eyes are not raised too high;
I do not occupy myself with things
too great and too marvelous for me.
But I have calmed and quieted my soul,
like a weaned child with its mother;
like a weaned child is my soul within me.

O Israel, hope in the Lord
from this time forth and forevermore.”

Psalm 131